How I Got Pregnant

All I can say about it is it wasn't immaculate conception, or invitro, I think you all can pretty much guess the 'how'. But I wanted to tell the story of 'how I found out I was pregnant'.

I wasn't too worried to have missed my period by at least 3 weeks, perhaps 5, as in the past few months I'd been pretty late on more than one occasion, and had taken the test a few times, but it came out negative. This time I figured it was more of the same. (And before you ask, no, I wasn't on the pill, and yes, we were using birth-control but during those few days before and after the 'time' we weren't using anything and it had worked so far). Besides, I wasn't running to the toilet throwing up every morning, and was having what felt like pre-menstrual cramps, and my nipples were really sore, a sure sign of the period coming on.

My friend Renee invited me to for a pap smear at the local clinic, and since it'd been over a year I figured it was time, and I wanted to know if something was up, like the beginning of menopause or something worse maybe, cancer?

The doctor was in his early 50s I think, not too old, and they had this special chair for checking you out, you sit on it, and it lifts up your pelvis and spreads your legs so he can get a good look. Of course I did as thorough a clean job as I could that morning, but I still tend to be rather shy about these inspections. At least there's a curtain hiding the upper part of your body from the doctor's face so you don't have to look each other in the eye as he's checking you out (I know, they've seen it all, better and worse, what's one more, right? Still, when it's your own, it's just a wee bit embarassing).

I'm sitting there half naked, looking around the room, and the dr. tells me to check out the little screen to my left. I look and recognize it as a womb, my womb, not that I can recognize my own womb at first glance, but you know, if you're the only person with their legs spread open being examined by a dr., whose womb is it going to be? I notice a small black dot sort of in the middle and immediately "Oh my God, I've got cancer, I knew it!!"

The dr. cheerfully informs me "You're at about 6 weeks gestation!" "What the H__!! But I'm not sick, I'm not throwing up, it can't be! Are you joking!?" All this in English, cause he can understand it, and he starts chuckling away, as if it's the joke of the day. Forget about being embarassed, forget about my legs wide open for the nurse to see as well, nothing else could enter my mind except--"I GOTTA FIND A NEW BABY POTTY??--Damn!"

So, that's how I found out, and shortly afterwards I started the whole morning sickness thing, and sleeping as much as I could, I was SO tired. I'm over that part now, but throwing up is a normal part of the course.